19 Days left...

oh I am SO fat I feel like I could stop walking, and roll myself from point A to point B. I have 19 days left. 19. 19. 19. That's it. I can make it right? Sure. I can make it. :-)

On another note... My mother brought up a good point today. Am I really going to want to go back to work and commit to 11/12 hours days with a newborn at home. I had the luxury of staying home with Nathan, and she thinks I am going to feel guilty for not giving this same attention to Kaylyn. She says that I should weigh all my options now, before hand... and put my family first when making the decision.

I agree with her, to an extent. Of course I wish I could stay home with Kaylyn... and I don't think that by going back to work I am placing anything before my family. My children will always be my number one priority. Whether I choose to go back to work or not it changes nothing about the priorities in my life. 

Even if I decided to stay home what the hell would i do?!?! I would go crazy!! I am going crazy now! I could always nanny/babysit a few children in our home and if I enjoyed it still, and wanted to expand create and run a home daycare... I have the education, experience and business sense. However, I feel that creating a home daycare is putting my family in more of a backseat than if i were to return to my current job. I mean, with home daycare i am committing myself and my children to others ALL day. At least with work  can take a vacation, leave early or call in sick. No calling in sick to your home business. hhmmm.... much to think about I guess. 

Following my dreams...

Day 7 of my maternity leave.

So far I have been really busy, definitely more relaxed than I was at work, but still busy. Kaylyn's room is ready, her laundry is clean and now I am just randomly straightening out things around the house. On my way to dinner with my mom tonight, I got a very interesting phone call...

My G called to tell me about a class being offered at the JC on publishing. She thought it would be right up my ally and wants me to go.

You see, in high school I had really big dreams, and good grades and support to fulfill these dreams... I wanted to go to Vassar College in Poughkeepsie. I wanted to go there SO bad. I could have gone. I know I could have, if i had stayed focused and driven... and not gotten into that car accident. :(

Anyways... whats done is done...

the point is I wanted to major in journalism and be a writer. Not a famous writer. I just LOVED to write and wanted to do what i loved. So my g encouraging me to go to this class is reopening new wounds for me. The 'could've beens' keep flying through my mind. But moving forward I have to ask myself if it is something I can still do.

I have not truly written anything with meaning in years. Nothing aside from newsletters for work, or addendum's to contracts in my files... could I really just dust off the old pen & paper and jump back into it? Would it become anything? What will I write about?

At one point I wanted to write children's books, but at this point I think IF I do it, i am leaning towards a novel.

Writing a novel would be amazing! I would love to do it! Even if nothing comes of it, i would be happy knowing that I wrote it. I followed my dreams and I wrote it. But I honestly know that I have the drive, dedication and capability of making it something great. If I do this I know I would follow through, but can i? Do I want to?

What would I write about?

Delicious Dinner

Well my dear husband made the best dinner tonight!! Steak Kabobs, twice baked potatoes and a tall glass of milk. :)

Today was a great day at work... i have such a good team right now, without their support my days would be much longer. As soon as I got off work today Nathan & I came home and ate snacks and watched Ellen. hahaha he likes Ellen, says she's silly. Duh. She is. lol

Nathan had a rough day at school, apparently he forgot his listening ears at home today. When we were driving home, discussing his behaviors... he blames the infamous "fluffy".  This imaginary friend thing is turning out to be quit the challenge. With all of my knowledge and experience in the field... I have not had to address such a situation like this. then again i guess even if I had it would be different with my own son. hhmmm. Fluffy & Nathan will both get a pep talk on the way to school in the morning.

Opening Credits...

It's a beautiful day in our life.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of another week. So many changes are in our future and I cannot wait to see what is in store for us. Kaylyn Michelle, finally has a name... and is full term at the end of this week. I am anxious for her arrival. However, being the workaholic, control freak that I am... I am hoping she stays in a few more weeks so I can get a little more accomplished at work before beginning my dreaded maternity leave. :( I have very little interest in spending my days with no agenda, at home alone. :(